Anonymous asked: I noticed in that GIF you used to reply to Sean's "Declaration of Romantic Intent" you're wearing some pretty kick-ass boots. Any chance we could get a better pic of you in them? Guys in boots are fuckin' hot as hell!
Something I see a lot on Tumblr that I think is problematic is the fad of hyperbolicly claiming to be “dying”. I.e. “OMG SO CUTE I’M DYING.”, “LOLOLOLOLOL BRB DYING.”
It’s so common that it’s pretty much part of the internet vernacular, and it seems innocent, just a way to express amusement in an over-the-top way. I used to use it a lot too. But I started to think of how it would affect me if I was, literally, dying.
I met someone on Tumblr who I like a lot. I followed them because they were cute and we schmoozed and flirted and were basically just being teenagers on the internet. They posted something about their physical illness and, having a chronic illness myself, I offered them words of support.
Then they shared with me that they are terminally ill. It doesn’t matter what they have or who they are, but they are a very nice, sweet, funny, young person who also happens to be dying.
Whenever I see a post like the above, where “dying” is a response to something hilarious and ridiculous, and the serious mortal connotations are out-of-reach, I think about this person. Because for them it’s a very real part of reality.
Part of what makes this hyperbolic “dying” so funny and ridiculous to people is the fact that we, as young people, don’t feel like death is a possibility. It’s something that will (most likely) come far, far down the road; not something we need to worry about right now. Most of us harbor the secret, deeply irrational belief that we won’t die. We are much too present, too young, too passionate, too alive to die. It’s ridiculous to think that you, the person who is at the very center of every second of your lived experience, will no longer exist one day. That all the experience and breath and sights that make up your life will be gone, and what will be left is just a nothingness. That’s an absurd thought. And we push it out of our minds.
But imagine if your world was different. Imagine if death was not just some fairy tale, but a part of your life. Something that hangs over your head like a pendulum in your pit. What if you felt yourself dying? And not in just a spiritual, mood-disordered, Sylvia Plath type dying, but actually, physically dying? How would you feel if you saw people laughing, flippantly “dying” while your body is breaking down? Every reference would be just another reminder that your lived experience is not just ephemeral but vanishing, quickly.
It’s something that is both very serious and very absurd, and for both of these reasons it’s hard to talk about truthfully. But let’s not ignore its importance for the sake of comfort. We owe that to the living as well as the dying.
It’s interesting that this should pop up because I was just thinking about this, but therapsida put it better than I could’ve.
Ready for tomorrow to get here so I can get one step closer to that job and to go out with some friends. I wish it could be ALL my friends but it’s the old group from HS. I haven’t gotten to see most of them since January! Gonna finally get to get my DVDs back too. They’ve had them since last July. o_O
Plus I am so damn close to getting my room all packed up! I’m gonna keep out the clothes I wear most often, the art supplies I use often and projects I am working on as of late, but everything else is gonna stay boxed up til I move the fuck OUT! It feels so good… so damn good.